What is love—true love?—A Bahá’i Viewpoint
Dr. A. K. Merchant*
“Love”, that four letter word in English; “Ishq” three letter word in Urdu; “Prem” a two-and-half letter word in Hindi, is perhaps, today the most confused, abused, and easily misunderstood.
If one were to ask: “How did you learn what love is?” A quick response could be, yes, from my mother. The deeper one delves into it, the more readily it becomes apparent that the way present-day society talks and teaches about ‘love’ is for most part a gross distortion of this most profound human virtue. Alas, how harmful and destructive are the tendencies of those who have fallen prey to their baser instincts all in the name of “love”.
True love is not feelings, a bundle of crazy emotions, or physical infatuation. A good example is a mother’s love for her child or children. It is not just feelings but action. Her care, concern and sacrifice, manifested so unconditionally, is the purest form of human love. The mystery of God’s creation is divine love. It is this love, the “Ishq-e-Haqiqi” (love of God) as opposed to “Ishq-e-Mijazi” (emotional love). In other words, Platonic versus Freudian definitions of what love is.
The Writings of the Bahá’i Faith take the concept of love as a source of spiritual growth—conscious knowledge plus action. This love that stems from one’s relationship with the Divine, that ultimate Reality, invisible and transcendent should be the foundation of our relationships with all of creation. For the Bahá’ís it is through recognition of Bahá’u’lláh, a singular encounter with the Manifestation of God our Age. “When we observe the phenomena of the universe,” the Bahá’i Writings explain, “we realize that the axis around which life revolves is love, while the axis around which death and destruction revolve is animosity and hatred … Therefore, we must strive with life and soul in order that day by day unity and agreement may be increased among mankind and that love and affinity may become more resplendently glorious and manifest.”
Accepting love as selfless action, rather than just a feeling, calls for setting higher standards in human relationships. Many people believe that love and honesty go hand in hand, and yet also believe that when you love someone, you might have to lie to them to protect their feelings. This kind of reasoning does not support true love. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’u’llah’s Successor, said: “If I love you, I need not continually speak of my love – you will know without any words. On the other hand, if I love you not, that also will you know – and you would not believe me, were I to tell you in a thousand words, that I loved you.” If true love depends on honesty, the individual will work harder to be truthful.
True love is more than an emotional state, it implies a responsibility to actualize it through daily struggle and willingness to sacrifice for the higher good. Without effort, one can spend an entire lifetime without experiencing or expressing healthy and happy love. The question then may be asked. If “love” requires so much work, why would someone want it? The explanation I found in the Baha’i Writings is worth deep reflection: “The love which exists between the hearts of believers is prompted by the ideal of the unity of spirits. This love is attained through the knowledge of God, so that men (and women too) see the Divine Love reflected in the heart. Each sees in the other the Beauty of God reflected in the soul, and finding this point of similarity, they are attracted to one another in love. This love will make all human beings the waves of one sea, this love will make them all the stars of one heaven and the fruits of one tree. This love will bring the realization of true accord, the foundation of real unity.” Elsewhere, it is stated: “In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love.”
Bahá’ís are fully convinced that today’s dysfunctional world cannot sustain for long and every aspect of life on earth has to transform and evolve. A world weary of its own bloodshed and divisiveness will ultimately discover in the teachings of every true religion or dharma what is “true love” and how every individual would become the promoter of human honour; the seeker of wisdom; the champion of justice; the selfless giver; the pure channel of divine grace; the faithful lover; the initiator of selfless service; the quickener of humanity. “Light up Love’s fire / Throw on the pyre / All things that be / Then with one step, it is not far / Enter the place where the lovers are,” Bahá’u’lláh wrote in one of his mystical works.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The writer is a social worker, an independent researcher & a member of the Bahá’i Community of India